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Go Army! Beat Navy!

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Navy calls it the "yard" so they can still have recess. #BeatNavy

Navy buys cereal based on the toy in the box. #GoArmy

Navy requests a Purple Heart for paper cuts. #BeatNavy

Navy gets excited for the big 64 count box of crayons. #GoArmy

Navy has less sea time than princess characters on a Disney Cruise ship. #GoArmy

Navy has trouble going to sleep without an exchange cadet checking under their bed for monsters. #BeatNavy

Navy studies Girl Scout cookie sales for leadership lessons. #BeatNavy

Navy has to sit down to pee. #GoArmy

Navy borrows your car and brings it back with an empty tank. #BeatNavy

Navy was my fallback school. #GoArmy

Navy thought a quarterback was a refund. #BeatNavy

Navy cries each time Goose dies in Top Gun. #GoArmy

Navy puts the tip in the tip jar ... to see how it feels. #BeatNavy

Navy is why we'll have mandatory, annual "no sky penis" training from now on. #GoArmy

Nobody wanted to see the movie about the Naval Academy - lost $10M. #GoArmy

Navy squeals like a girl when Twilight is on. #BeatNavy

Navy is why U2 hasn't found what they're looking for. #GoArmy

Two NAVY football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Naval Academy. Soon after the test began, the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, “Old MacDonald had a what?”

The other replies, “He had a farm.”

The first asks, “How do you spell it?”

To which the second replied, “E-I-E-I-O.”


Navy kids are ashamed their parent(s) went to USNA. #GoArmy

Navy looks up to CAPT Jack Sparrow for inspiration. #BeatNavy

Navy turned tricks to put themselves through USNA ... still doesn't realize it was tuition free. #GoArmy

Navy invented SEALs because they know if nobody actually puts boots on the ground they're just hiding far away on a boat. #BeatNavy

Navy has big ships because they're compensating. #GoArmy

Navy still can't color between the lines. #BeatNavy

Navy plays with green Army men to feel more "tactical." #GoArmy

Navy loads all the chambers in Russian roulette and begs to go first. #BeatNavy

Navy requests combat ribbons for watching war movies. #GoArmy

Navy giggles at "sextant" and "seamen." #BeatNavy

Navy is positive it's "not gay when you're underway." #GoArmy

Navy doesn't know what happened to the bread when toast pops up. #BeatNavy

Navy attends the United States Naval Academy For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too

Navy tells little kids there is no Santa Clause. #GoArmy

Navy thinks Top Gun was a documentary. #BeatNavy

Navy always "replies to all" when emailing. #GoArmy

Navy asks their girlfriends to parallel park for them. #BeatNavy

Navy drives slow in the fast lane. #GoArmy

Navy needs sponsor parents because their biological parents are too ashamed their children attend USNA.

Navy relies on SEALs to get women. #BeatNavy

Navy gets a sippy cup at restaurants. #GoArmy

Navy only uses spoons because forks and knives are for big kids. #BeatNavy

Navy evacuates ahead of women and children. #GoArmy

Navy roots for Voldemort. #BeatNavy

Navy reads coloring books "for the articles." #GoArmy

Navy still gets the crusts cut off their sandwiches. #BeatNavy

Navy sings "It's Raining Men" in the shower. #GoArmy

Navy gets mad at the midshipman in the mirror that won't stop copying. #BeatNavy

Navy watches paint dry. #GoArmy

Navy uses their police to quell Army spirit missions - to avoid traumatizing midshipmen.

Navy fixes their ships with reiki healing. #BeatNavy

Navy kids pretend to be Army soldiers. #GoArmy

Navy waxes romantically about The Little Mermaid. #BeatNavy

Navy steals ketchup and mustard packets from restaurants for home. #GoArmy

Navy gets an automatic 20% VA disability for their incurable, USNA inferiority complex. #BeatNavy

Navy utilizes the "clusterfuck" formation for its parade performances.

Navy considers resort cruises as "deployment sea time". #GoArmy

Navy can't attend Airborne School because you have to count to four. #BeatNavy

Navy still updates their MySpace page. #GoArmy

Navy only does CrossFit on the rest days. #BeatNavy

Navy is addicted to placebos. #GoArmy

Navy pays extra for gluten-free, dolphin-safe, organic, zero-calorie water. #BeatNavy

Navy has a colorful nose from scratch 'n sniff markers. #GoArmy

Navy gets PTSD from Nerf. #BeatNavy

Navy leads the way on banning dangerous dihydrogen monoxide chemicals. #GoArmy

Navy supports banning women's suffrage because women shouldn't suffer. #BeatNavy

Navy had to make another college for their grads because they didn't get it right the first time.

Navy squinches their nose and cutely says "Boop" when they collide ships. #GoArmy

Navy covers their eyes in combat to hide from the "Bad Guys." #BeatNavy

Navy checks if their guns are loaded by looking down the barrel. #GoArmy

Navy takes a knee during the National Anthem. #BeatNavy

Navy uses a money clip to hold their coins. #GoArmy

Navy always chooses the easier wrong. #BeatNavy

Navy takes phone calls in public bathroom stalls. #GoArmy

Navy stands next to you at the urinal. #BeatNavy

Navy speeds in school zones. #GoArmy

Navy will never be the man their mom was.#BeatNavy

Navy joined the fight against autism, by fighting autistic children. #GoArmy

Navy pulls through and blocks the intersection at red lights. #BeatNavy

Navy freezes boiling water to save it for later. #GoArmy

Navy tells "Yo Mama" jokes about their own mom. #BeatNavy

Navy’s going to give you up. Navy’s going to let you down. Navy’s going to run aground & desert you. #GoArmy

Navy doesn't understand how 2017 is in the 21st century. #BeatNavy

Navy hooks up solar panels in their basement and turns on their incandescent lights. #GoArmy

Navy doesn't recycle. #BeatNavy

Navy supports Global Warming for bigger oceans. #GoArmy

Navy isn't sure its her baby when she's pregnant. #BeatNavy

Legendary cadet Mike Nemeth got Yahoo to pick-up a prank story on Annapolis honoring West Point.
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Navy refuses to release their tax returns. #GoArmy

Navy double dips their chips. #BeatNavy

Navy is jealous of ISIS for their goats. #GoArmy

I thought of Navy today. Then I remembered to take out the garbage. #BeatNavy

Navy doesn't wash their hands. #GoArmy

Even the Naval Academy only rates themselves 3 stars out of 5.

Navy is a close-talker with bad breath. #BeatNavy

Navy makes their date pay. #GoArmy

Navy uses the HOV lane with "inflatable" passengers. #BeatNavy

Navy likes to name-drop their famous alumni ... but nobody knows who they are. #GoArmy

Navy hangs to the left. #BeatNavy

Navy craps in the only working shower on the FOB. #GoArmy

Navy retreats from a snowball fight with 3 year olds. #BeatNavy

Navy has "itchy burning discharge" recorded on their DD-214. #GoArmy

Navy prefers Internet Explorer. #BeatNavy

Navy gets a passing PRT score for showing up and having a pulse. #GoArmy

Navy wants to show you their *junk* because there is something that really itches down there and they can't figure it out .... #BeatNavy

Navy still uses training wheels. #GoArmy

Navy is the reason for a Zima relaunch. #BeatNavy

Navy tells you the end of a movie before you can watch it. #GoArmy

Navy thought books were based on movies. #BeatNavy

Navy's favorite book is by Dr. Seuss - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. #GoArmy

Navy orders vegan at a steakhouse. #BeatNavy

Navy peeps in the shower. #GoArmy

Navy eats soup with a fork. #BeatNavy

Navy is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle. #GoArmy

Navy thinks Puerto Rico is part of Cuba. #BeatNavy

Navy tried to paint their submarine yellow. #GoArmy

Navy dreams of upgrading to a double-wide trailer with a chain link fence. #BeatNavy

The villain from Black Panther went to the Naval Academy. #GoArmy

The villain from The Blacklist went to the Naval Academy. #BeatNavy

Navy drinks beer through a straw. #GoArmy

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