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2017-11-28
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Go Army! Beat Navy!

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Navy calls it the "yard" so they can still have recess. #BeatNavy


Navy buys cereal based on the toy in the box. #GoArmy


Navy requests a Purple Heart for paper cuts. #BeatNavy


Navy gets excited for the big 64 count box of crayons. #GoArmy


Navy has trouble going to sleep without an exchange cadet checking under their bed for monsters. #BeatNavy


Nobody wanted to see the movie about the Naval Academy - lost $10M. #GoArmy

Navy has less sea time than princess characters on a Disney Cruise ship. #GoArmy


Navy studies Girl Scout cookie sales for leadership lessons. #BeatNavy


Navy has to sit down to pee. #GoArmy


Navy borrows your car and brings it back with an empty tank. #BeatNavy


Navy is a fallback school for community college. #GoArmy



Navy thought a quarterback was a refund. #BeatNavy


Navy cries each time Goose dies in Top Gun. #GoArmy


Navy puts the tip in the tip jar ... to see how it feels. #BeatNavy


Navy is why we'll have mandatory, annual "no sky penis" training from now on. #GoArmy


Navy squeals like a girl when Twilight is on. #BeatNavy



Navy is why U2 hasn't found what they're looking for. #GoArmy


Two NAVY football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Naval Academy. Soon after the test began, the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, “Old MacDonald had a what?”

The other replies, “He had a farm.”

The first asks, “How do you spell it?”

To which the second replied, “E-I-E-I-O.”

#BeatNavy


Navy kids are ashamed their parent(s) went to USNA. #GoArmy


Navy looks up to CAPT Jack Sparrow for inspiration. #BeatNavy


Navy turned tricks to put themselves through USNA ... still doesn't realize it was tuition free. #GoArmy



Navy invented SEALs because they know if nobody actually puts boots on the ground they're just hiding far away on a boat. #BeatNavy


Navy has big ships because they're compensating. #GoArmy


Navy still can't color between the lines. #BeatNavy


Navy plays with green Army men to feel more "tactical." #GoArmy


Navy loads all the chambers in Russian roulette and begs to go first. #BeatNavy



Navy requests combat ribbons for watching war movies. #GoArmy


Navy giggles at "sextant" and "seamen." #BeatNavy


Navy is positive it's "not gay when you're underway." #GoArmy


Navy doesn't know what happened to the bread when toast pops up. #BeatNavy


Navy tells little kids there is no Santa Clause. #GoArmy


Navy attends the United States Naval Academy For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too

Navy thinks Top Gun was a documentary. #BeatNavy


Navy always "replies to all" when emailing. #GoArmy


Navy asks their girlfriends to parallel park for them. #BeatNavy


Navy drives slow in the fast lane. #GoArmy


Navy relies on SEALs to get women. #BeatNavy


Navy needs sponsor parents because their biological parents are too ashamed their children attend USNA.

Navy gets a sippy cup at restaurants. #GoArmy


Navy only uses spoons because forks and knives are for big kids. #BeatNavy


Navy evacuates ahead of women and children. #GoArmy


Navy roots for Voldemort. #BeatNavy


Navy reads coloring books "for the articles." #GoArmy



Navy still gets the crusts cut off their sandwiches. #BeatNavy


Navy sings "It's Raining Men" in the shower. #GoArmy


Navy gets mad at the midshipman in the mirror that won't stop copying. #BeatNavy


Navy watches paint dry. #GoArmy


Navy fixes their ships with reiki healing. #BeatNavy


Navy uses their police to quell Army spirit missions - to avoid traumatizing midshipmen.

Navy kids pretend to be Army soldiers. #GoArmy


Navy waxes romantically about The Little Mermaid. #BeatNavy


Navy steals ketchup and mustard packets from restaurants for home. #GoArmy


Navy gets an automatic 20% VA disability for their incurable, USNA inferiority complex. #BeatNavy


Navy considers resort cruises as "deployment sea time". #GoArmy


Navy utilizes the "clusterfuck" formation for its parade performances.

Navy can't attend Airborne School because you have to count to four. #BeatNavy


Navy still updates their MySpace page. #GoArmy


Navy only does CrossFit on the rest days. #BeatNavy


Navy is addicted to placebos. #GoArmy


Navy pays extra for gluten-free, dolphin-safe, organic, zero-calorie water. #BeatNavy



Navy has a colorful nose from scratch 'n sniff markers. #GoArmy


Navy gets PTSD from Nerf. #BeatNavy


Navy leads the way on banning dangerous dihydrogen monoxide chemicals. #GoArmy


Navy supports banning women's suffrage because women shouldn't suffer. #BeatNavy


Navy squinches their nose and cutely says "Boop" when they collide ships. #GoArmy


Navy had to make another college for their grads because they didn't get it right the first time.

Navy covers their eyes in combat to hide from the "Bad Guys." #BeatNavy


Navy checks if their guns are loaded by looking down the barrel. #GoArmy


Navy takes a knee during the National Anthem. #BeatNavy


Navy uses a money clip to hold their coins. #GoArmy


Navy always chooses the easier wrong. #BeatNavy



Navy takes phone calls in public bathroom stalls. #GoArmy


Navy stands next to you at the urinal. #BeatNavy


Navy speeds in school zones. #GoArmy


Navy will never be the man their mom was.#BeatNavy


Navy joined the fight against autism, by fighting autistic children. #GoArmy



Navy pulls through and blocks the intersection at red lights. #BeatNavy


Navy freezes boiling water to save it for later. #GoArmy


Navy tells "Yo Mama" jokes about their own mom. #BeatNavy


Navy’s going to give you up. Navy’s going to let you down. Navy’s going to run aground & desert you. #GoArmy


Navy doesn't understand how 2017 is in the 21st century. #BeatNavy



Navy hooks up solar panels in their basement and turns on their incandescent lights. #GoArmy


Navy doesn't recycle. #BeatNavy


Navy supports Global Warming for bigger oceans. #GoArmy


Navy isn't sure its her baby when she's pregnant. #BeatNavy


Navy refuses to release their tax returns. #GoArmy


Legendary cadet Mike Nemeth got Yahoo to pick-up a prank story on Annapolis honoring West Point.
Archived at - https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2015/11/04/west-point-grad-pranks-annapolis-with-go-army-day/

Navy double dips their chips. #BeatNavy


Navy is jealous of ISIS for their goats. #GoArmy


I thought of Navy today. Then I remembered to take out the garbage. #BeatNavy


Navy doesn't wash their hands. #GoArmy


Navy is a close-talker with bad breath. #BeatNavy


Even the Naval Academy only rates themselves 3 stars out of 5.

Navy makes their date pay. #GoArmy


Navy uses the HOV lane with "inflatable" passengers. #BeatNavy


Navy likes to name-drop their famous alumni ... but nobody knows who they are. #GoArmy


Navy hangs to the left. #BeatNavy


Navy craps in the only working shower on the FOB. #GoArmy



Navy retreats from a snowball fight with 3 year olds. #BeatNavy


Navy has "itchy burning discharge" recorded on their DD-214. #GoArmy


Navy prefers Internet Explorer. #BeatNavy


Navy gets a passing PRT score for showing up and having a pulse. #GoArmy


Navy wants to show you their *junk* because there is something that really itches down there and they can't figure it out .... #BeatNavy


Navy still uses training wheels. #GoArmy


Navy is the reason for a Zima relaunch. #BeatNavy


Navy tells you the end of a movie before you can watch it. #GoArmy


Navy thought books were based on movies. #BeatNavy


Navy's favorite book is by Dr. Seuss - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. #GoArmy


Navy orders vegan at a steakhouse. #BeatNavy


Navy peeps in the shower. #GoArmy


Navy eats soup with a fork. #BeatNavy


Navy is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle. #GoArmy


Navy thinks Puerto Rico is part of Cuba. #BeatNavy


Navy tried to paint their submarine yellow. #GoArmy


Navy dreams of upgrading to a double-wide trailer with a chain link fence. #BeatNavy


The villain from Black Panther went to the Naval Academy. #GoArmy


The villain from The Blacklist went to the Naval Academy. #BeatNavy


Navy drinks beer through a straw. #GoArmy


Navy is why we have to listen to the entire message because the menu options have changed. #BeatNavy


Navy orders fish at a steakhouse. #GoArmy


Navy flirts with Army wives ... because it's as close to tough as they'll ever be. #BeatNavy


Navy is jealous of the Air Force - so they maintain aircraft carriers so they can fly, too. #GoArmy


Navy is jealous of the Army - so they made SEALs so they can get ground action, too. #BeatNavy


Navy says size doesn't matter, it's the motion of the ocean. #GoArmy


Navy loses to children at Fortnite. #BeatNavy


Navy "understood" when Jason Biggs defiled the apple pie. #GoArmy


Navy secretly acts out the "King of the World" scene from Titanic with each other. #BeatNavy


Navy is like uber ... for the Marines. #GoArmy


Navy regifts back to you. #BeatNavy


Navy thinks dihydrogen monoxide is unhealthy. #GoArmy


Navy is the 5th best service academy only because Citadel and VMI were ineligible. #BeatNavy


Navy is proud the Mullet is a regulation hair style. #GoArmy


Navy receives "dick pics" from their Mom. #BeatNavy


Navy keeps a 5 gallon fuel can in their electric car in case they run out of juice. #GoArmy


Navy can't use a map without colored pencils. #BeatNavy


Navy accelerates towards kids to avoid stopping for the school bus. #GoArmy


Navy hands out vegetables at Halloween. #BeatNavy


Navy doesn't realize their diploma is a really the equivalent of a military Certificate of Appreciation for participation. #GoArmy


Navy never lets children win at musical chairs. #BeatNavy


Navy blocks gas pumps while they buy snacks in a gas station. #GoArmy


Navy joined CYBERCOM to have cyber sex. #BeatNavy


Navy trains with toy boats in the bath tub. #GoArmy


Navy is the DoD's leading insider threat. #BeatNavy


Navy wives fantasize their sailor was in the Army. #GoArmy


Navy clicks all the ad links in their email. #BeatNavy


Navy worries their car's headlight fluid is low. #GoArmy


Navy bowls with the gutter guards raised. #BeatNavy


Navy is picked last for the dodgeball team. #GoArmy


Navy haggles to raise the price. #BeatNavy


Navy uses "password" as their password. #GoArmy


Navy always forwards chain mail. #BeatNavy


Navy is the tattletale service of the DoD. #GoArmy


Navy deflates their balls. #BeatNavy


Navy runs a heroin and cocaine ring. (too soon?) #GoArmy


Navy can't go underway without a security blanket. #BeatNavy


Navy tries to rewind DVDs. #GoArmy


Navy types with only two fingers. #BeatNavy


Navy gets left out by their imaginary friends. #GoArmy


Navy sniffs their skidmarks to determine reusability. #BeatNavy


Navy thinks TCP/IP payloads with "1s" weigh more than "0s". #GoArmy


Navy officers need babysitters (JORG). #BeatNavy


Navy swallows gum and tries to blow fart bubbles. #GoArmy


Navy can't drive without repeating their GPS' navigation instructions. #BeatNavy


Navy can't help their children do common core math. #GoArmy


Navy shakes their head hoping quarters will fall out of their ears. #BeatNavy


Navy is impressed by DISA. #GoArmy


Navy turns the "v" and "y" into little hearts when they're writing. #BeatNavy


Navy has every Justin Bieber album. #GoArmy


Navy blames dolphins when they fart underwater. #BeatNavy


Navy brings their phone into a SCIF. #GoArmy


Navy needs a permission slip signed by an adult to go ashore. #BeatNavy


Navy moves furniture around on the blind. #GoArmy


Navy fake mouths words around the deaf. #BeatNavy


Navy parks in handicapped spaces. #GoArmy


Navy urinates in the group shower. #BeatNavy


Navy chopped up their money to make BitCoins. #GoArmy


Navy pushes had to win gold medals in the Special Olympics. #BeatNavy


Navy sells your personal identifiable information to telemarketers. #GoArmy


Navy takes money from the donation jar. #BeatNavy


Navy steals toys from Toys-For-Tots. #GoArmy


Navy complains about homeless veterans. #BeatNavy


Navy relaxes weight limit standards when they get fat. #GoArmy


Navy goes by "gross tonnage" because their sailors are overweight. #BeatNavy


Navy keeps JAG busy cleaning up their scandals. #GoArmy


Navy participates in TV shows and movies to boost their low self esteem. #BeatNavy


Navy brags about USNA on their Tinder profile. #GoArmy


Navy cheats at solitaire. #BeatNavy




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