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Go Army! Beat Navy!

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Tagged As: Beat Navy, Entertainment, Funny, Go Army, Humor, Rivalry, Spirit, and Sports

Navy calls it the "yard" so they can still have recess. #BeatNavy

Navy buys cereal based on the toy in the box. #GoArmy

Navy 'gave up the ship' in the Civil War when they retreated from the Naval Academy to Rhode Island on the USS Constitution. #BeatNavy

Navy gets excited for the big 64 count box of crayons. #GoArmy

Navy has trouble going to sleep without an exchange cadet checking under their bed for monsters. #BeatNavy

Navy uses their police to quell Army spirit missions - to avoid traumatizing midshipmen.

Navy has less sea time than princess characters on a Disney Cruise ship. #GoArmy

Navy studies Girl Scout cookie sales for leadership lessons. #BeatNavy

Navy has to sit down to pee. #GoArmy

Navy borrows your car and brings it back with an empty tank. #BeatNavy

Navy is a fallback school for community college. #GoArmy

Nobody wanted to see the movie about the Naval Academy - lost $10M. #GoArmy

Navy thought a quarterback was a refund. #BeatNavy

Navy cries each time Goose dies in Top Gun. #GoArmy

Navy puts the tip in the tip jar ... to see how it feels. #BeatNavy

Navy is why we'll have mandatory, annual "no sky penis" training from now on. #GoArmy

Navy squeals like a girl when Twilight is on. #BeatNavy

Navy is why U2 hasn't found what they're looking for. #GoArmy

Two NAVY football players were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Naval Academy. Soon after the test began, the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, “Old MacDonald had a what?”

The other replies, “He had a farm.”

The first asks, “How do you spell it?”

To which the second replied, “E-I-E-I-O.”


Navy kids are ashamed their parent(s) went to USNA. #GoArmy

Navy looks up to CAPT Jack Sparrow for inspiration. #BeatNavy

Navy turned tricks to put themselves through USNA ... still doesn't realize it was tuition free. #GoArmy

Navy invented SEALs because they know if nobody actually puts boots on the ground they're just hiding far away on a boat. #BeatNavy

Navy has big ships because they're compensating. #GoArmy

Navy still can't color between the lines. #BeatNavy

Navy plays with green Army men to feel more "tactical." #GoArmy

Navy loads all the chambers in Russian roulette and begs to go first. #BeatNavy

Navy requests combat ribbons for watching war movies. #GoArmy

Navy giggles at "sextant" and "seamen." #BeatNavy

Navy is positive it's "not gay when you're underway." #GoArmy

Navy doesn't know what happened to the bread when toast pops up. #BeatNavy

Navy tells little kids there is no Santa Clause. #GoArmy

Navy attends the United States Naval Academy For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too

Navy thinks Top Gun was a documentary. #BeatNavy

Navy always "replies to all" when emailing. #GoArmy

Navy asks their girlfriends to parallel park for them. #BeatNavy

Navy drives slow in the fast lane. #GoArmy

Navy relies on SEALs to get women. #BeatNavy

Navy needs sponsor parents because their biological parents are too ashamed their children attend USNA.

Navy gets a sippy cup at restaurants. #GoArmy

Navy only uses spoons because forks and knives are for big kids. #BeatNavy

Navy evacuates ahead of women and children. #GoArmy

Navy roots for Voldemort. #BeatNavy

Navy reads coloring books "for the articles." #GoArmy

Navy still gets the crusts cut off their sandwiches. #BeatNavy

Navy sings "It's Raining Men" in the shower. #GoArmy

Navy gets mad at the midshipman in the mirror that won't stop copying. #BeatNavy

Navy watches paint dry. #GoArmy

Navy fixes their ships with reiki healing. #BeatNavy

Navy kids pretend to be Army soldiers. #GoArmy

Navy waxes romantically about The Little Mermaid. #BeatNavy

Navy steals ketchup and mustard packets from restaurants for home. #GoArmy

Navy gets an automatic 20% VA disability for their incurable, USNA inferiority complex. #BeatNavy

Navy considers resort cruises as "deployment sea time". #GoArmy

Navy utilizes the "clusterfuck" formation for its parade performances.

Navy can't attend Airborne School because you have to count to four. #BeatNavy

Navy still updates their MySpace page. #GoArmy

Navy only does CrossFit on the rest days. #BeatNavy

Navy is addicted to placebos. #GoArmy

Navy pays extra for gluten-free, dolphin-safe, organic, zero-calorie water. #BeatNavy

Navy has a colorful nose from scratch 'n sniff markers. #GoArmy

Navy gets PTSD from Nerf. #BeatNavy

Navy leads the way on banning dangerous dihydrogen monoxide chemicals. #GoArmy

Navy supports banning women's suffrage because women shouldn't suffer. #BeatNavy

Navy squinches their nose and cutely says "Boop" when they collide ships. #GoArmy

Navy had to make another college for their grads because they didn't get it right the first time.

Navy covers their eyes in combat to hide from the "Bad Guys." #BeatNavy

Navy checks if their guns are loaded by looking down the barrel. #GoArmy

Navy takes a knee during the National Anthem. #BeatNavy

Navy uses a money clip to hold their coins. #GoArmy

Navy always chooses the easier wrong. #BeatNavy

Navy takes phone calls in public bathroom stalls. #GoArmy

Navy stands next to you at the urinal. #BeatNavy

Navy speeds in school zones. #GoArmy

Navy will never be the man their mom was.#BeatNavy

Navy joined the fight against autism, by fighting autistic children. #GoArmy

Navy pulls through and blocks the intersection at red lights. #BeatNavy

Navy freezes boiling water to save it for later. #GoArmy

Navy tells "Yo Mama" jokes about their own mom. #BeatNavy

Navy’s going to give you up. Navy’s going to let you down. Navy’s going to run aground & desert you. #GoArmy

Navy doesn't understand how 2017 is in the 21st century. #BeatNavy

Navy hooks up solar panels in their basement and turns on their incandescent lights. #GoArmy

Navy doesn't recycle. #BeatNavy

Navy supports Global Warming for bigger oceans. #GoArmy

Navy isn't sure its her baby when she's pregnant. #BeatNavy

Navy refuses to release their tax returns. #GoArmy

Legendary cadet Mike Nemeth got Yahoo to pick-up a prank story on Annapolis honoring West Point.
Archived at -

Navy double dips their chips. #BeatNavy

Navy is jealous of ISIS for their goats. #GoArmy

I thought of Navy today. Then I remembered to take out the garbage. #BeatNavy

Navy doesn't wash their hands. #GoArmy

Navy is a close-talker with bad breath. #BeatNavy

Even the Naval Academy only rates themselves 3 stars out of 5.

Navy makes their date pay. #GoArmy

Navy uses the HOV lane with "inflatable" passengers. #BeatNavy

Navy likes to name-drop their famous alumni ... but nobody knows who they are. #GoArmy

Navy hangs to the left. #BeatNavy

Navy craps in the only working shower on the FOB. #GoArmy

Navy retreats from a snowball fight with 3 year olds. #BeatNavy

Navy has "itchy burning discharge" recorded on their DD-214. #GoArmy

Navy prefers Internet Explorer. #BeatNavy

Navy gets a passing PRT score for showing up and having a pulse. #GoArmy

Navy wants to show you their *junk* because there is something that really itches down there and they can't figure it out .... #BeatNavy

Navy still uses training wheels. #GoArmy

Navy is the reason for a Zima relaunch. #BeatNavy

Navy tells you the end of a movie before you can watch it. #GoArmy

Navy thought books were based on movies. #BeatNavy

Navy's favorite book is by Dr. Seuss - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. #GoArmy

Navy orders vegan at a steakhouse. #BeatNavy

Navy peeps in the shower. #GoArmy

Navy eats soup with a fork. #BeatNavy

Navy is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle. #GoArmy

Navy thinks Puerto Rico is part of Cuba. #BeatNavy

Military Times reports Navy is the fattest service.
Archived at"

Navy tried to paint their submarine yellow. #GoArmy

Navy dreams of upgrading to a double-wide trailer with a chain link fence. #BeatNavy

The villain from Black Panther went to the Naval Academy. #GoArmy

The villain from The Blacklist went to the Naval Academy. #BeatNavy

Navy drinks beer through a straw. #GoArmy

Navy is why we have to listen to the entire message because the menu options have changed. #BeatNavy

Navy orders fish at a steakhouse. #GoArmy

Navy flirts with Army wives ... because it's as close to tough as they'll ever be. #BeatNavy

Navy is jealous of the Air Force - so they maintain aircraft carriers so they can fly, too. #GoArmy

Navy is jealous of the Army - so they made SEALs so they can get ground action, too. #BeatNavy

Dammit Navy - now we need to take annual "No Sky Penis" training.

Navy says size doesn't matter, it's the motion of the ocean. #GoArmy

Navy loses to children at Fortnite. #BeatNavy

Navy "understood" when Jason Biggs defiled the apple pie. #GoArmy

Navy secretly acts out the "King of the World" scene from Titanic with each other. #BeatNavy

Navy is like uber ... for the Marines. #GoArmy

US tax dollars hard at work.

Navy regifts back to you. #BeatNavy

Navy thinks dihydrogen monoxide is unhealthy. #GoArmy

Navy is the 5th best service academy only because Citadel and VMI were ineligible. #BeatNavy

Navy is proud the Mullet is a regulation hair style. #GoArmy

Navy receives "dick pics" from their Mom. #BeatNavy

Navy keeps a 5 gallon fuel can in their electric car in case they run out of juice. #GoArmy

Navy can't use a map without colored pencils. #BeatNavy

Navy accelerates towards kids to avoid stopping for the school bus. #GoArmy

Navy hands out vegetables at Halloween. #BeatNavy

Navy doesn't realize their diploma is a really the equivalent of a military Certificate of Appreciation for participation. #GoArmy

Navy never lets children win at musical chairs. #BeatNavy

Navy blocks gas pumps while they buy snacks in a gas station. #GoArmy

Navy joined CYBERCOM to have cyber sex. #BeatNavy

Navy trains with toy boats in the bath tub. #GoArmy

Navy is the DoD's leading insider threat. #BeatNavy

The villian from Black Panther was a USNA grad.

Navy wives fantasize their sailor was in the Army. #GoArmy

Navy clicks all the ad links in their email. #BeatNavy

Navy worries their car's headlight fluid is low. #GoArmy

Navy bowls with the gutter guards raised. #BeatNavy

Navy is picked last for the dodgeball team. #GoArmy

Know your customer - Navy Men wear yoga pants.

Navy haggles to raise the price. #BeatNavy

Navy uses "password" as their password. #GoArmy

Navy always forwards chain mail. #BeatNavy

Navy is the tattletale service of the DoD. #GoArmy

Navy deflates their balls. #BeatNavy

Navy exercises ... weird.

Navy runs a heroin and cocaine ring. (too soon?) #GoArmy

Navy can't go underway without a security blanket. #BeatNavy

Navy tries to rewind DVDs. #GoArmy

Navy types with only two fingers. #BeatNavy

Navy gets left out by their imaginary friends. #GoArmy

Navy sniffs their skidmarks to determine reusability. #BeatNavy

Navy thinks TCP/IP payloads with "1s" weigh more than "0s". #GoArmy

Navy officers need babysitters (JORG). #BeatNavy

Navy swallows gum and tries to blow fart bubbles. #GoArmy

Navy can't drive without repeating their GPS' navigation instructions. #BeatNavy

Navy can't help their children do common core math. #GoArmy

Navy shakes their head hoping quarters will fall out of their ears. #BeatNavy

Navy is impressed by DISA. #GoArmy

Navy turns the "v" and "y" into little hearts when they're writing. #BeatNavy

Navy has every Justin Bieber album. #GoArmy

Navy blames dolphins when they fart underwater. #BeatNavy

Navy brings their phone into a SCIF. #GoArmy

Navy needs a permission slip signed by an adult to go ashore. #BeatNavy

Navy moves furniture around on the blind. #GoArmy

Navy fake mouths words around the deaf. #BeatNavy

Navy parks in handicapped spaces. #GoArmy

Navy urinates in the group shower. #BeatNavy

Navy chopped up their money to make BitCoins. #GoArmy

Navy pushes hard to win gold medals in the Special Olympics. #BeatNavy

Navy sells your personal identifiable information to telemarketers. #GoArmy

Navy takes money from the donation jar. #BeatNavy

Navy steals toys from Toys-For-Tots. #GoArmy

Navy complains about homeless veterans. #BeatNavy

Navy relaxes weight limit standards when they get fat. #GoArmy

Navy goes by "gross tonnage" because their sailors are overweight. #BeatNavy

Navy keeps JAG busy cleaning up their scandals. #GoArmy

Navy participates in TV shows and movies to boost their low self esteem. #BeatNavy

Navy brags about USNA on their Tinder profile. #GoArmy

Navy cheats at solitaire. #BeatNavy

Navy needs "new math" so nobody would recognize they couldn't do "old math." #GoArmy

Navy gets lucky with their mascot.

Navy frequently misspells USNA as anus. #BeatNavy

Navy checks the weather channel for snow days - to miss a day of war. #GoArmy

Navy uses children's shampoo because their eyes sting. #BeatNavy

Navy qualifies with BB guns because M16s are scary looking. #GoArmy

Navy drives without headlights in the rain. #BeatNavy

Navy is only called the “United States Naval Academy” because “The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids who Can’t Read Good… And want to do other stuff that’s good too” was already taken. #GoArmy

Navy says the food wasn't good after eating the whole thing ... and asks for a refund. #BeatNavy

Navy shoots free throws "granny style." #GoArmy

Navy packs a Squatty Potty as their "personal item" for an airplane carry-on. #BeatNavy

Navy officers eat before their men. #GoArmy

Navy takes gym selfies curling 10 pound weights. #BeatNavy

Navy is proud to be skipper of a douche canoe. #GoArmy

Navy parents tell people their children are in prison because USNA is too embarassing. #BeatNavy

Navy wears a helmet on an exercise bike. #GoArmy

Navy steals lunches from the work 'fridge. #BeatNavy

Navy is who everyone complains about during Festivus. #GoArmy

Navy thinks Taco Bell is the best Mexican food. #BeatNavy

Navy sued NBC for trademark infringement for "The Biggest Loser." #GoArmy

Navy puts toilet paper rolls on backwards. #BeatNavy

Navy gets handicapped tags automatically for showing their diploma. #GoArmy

Navy got a hernia attempting to lift a toy version of Mjölnir. #BeatNavy

Navy still eats glue. #GoArmy

Navy is jealous of the Marines' crayons. #BeatNavy

Navy asks if spelling counts. #GoArmy

Navy farts in the elevator. #BeatNavy

Navy schedules meetings at 4pm on a Friday. #GoArmy

Navy takes the elevator up one floor. #BeatNavy

Navy does goat stuff. #GoArmy

Navy doesn't vaccinate. #BeatNavy

Navy believes in a Flat Earth because the water is flat. #GoArmy

Navy Midshipmen reading each other kids books at Barnes & Noble

Navy live streams their hate and discrimination on social media. #BeatNavy

Navy thinks the "7 Cs" are their grades. #BeatNavy

Navy steals porch packages. #GoArmy

Navy still eats Tide pods. #BeatNavy

Navy found a wrong way to eat Reese's Cups. #GoArmy

Navy fills their whiskey glasses to the top with ice. #BeatNavy

Navy eats tacos on Wednesday. #GoArmy

Navy 'fight or flight' response is just to pee in their pants. #BeatNavy

Navy requests a Purple Heart for paper cuts. #GoArmy

Navy is a close talker ... in the gym shower. #BeatNavy

GI*JOE, the real American Heroes, featured West Point in a battle against COBRA

Navy comes to your house to tell you they're quarantined. #GoArmy

Navy doesn't wash their hands during a pandemic. #BeatNavy

Navy votes the day after an election for shorter lines. #GoArmy

Navy votes absentee and in-person, for both candidates, just in case. #BeatNavy

Navy kids let their parents win to boost self-esteem. #GoArmy

Navy brings their Mom to bachelor parties, as the entertainment. #BeatNavy

Navy double parks. #GoArmy

Navy polishes their shoes for VTCs. #BeatNavy

Navy doesn't mute their VTC mic when they go to the bathroom. #GoArmy

Navy is why Thanos wanted to destroy half the universe. #BeatNavy

The mess Navy left behind from the march-on staging area.

Navy didn't even show up for perhaps the most decisive naval action in American history: the Battle of Yorktown -- but the French did. #GoArmy

Navy uses a speakerphone in quiet places. #BeatNavy

Navy carries their dog around in a purse. #GoArmy

Navy thinks Die Hard is a necrophilia porn movie. #BeatNavy

Navy is proud to be called Shipmate. #GoArmy

Navy takes VTCs in the bathroom with the camera on and the mic unmuted. #BeatNavy

Navy thinks a spoiler makes their compact car perform better. #GoArmy

Navy thinks louder mufflers equate to more horsepower. #BeatNavy

Navy doesn't understand what's annoying about Karen. #GoArmy

Navy prefers less cowbell. #BeatNavy

Navy puts ketchup on their steak. #GoArmy

Navy wears their uniform to the office ugly sweater contest. #BeatNavy

Navy's favorite window flavor is Windex. #GoArmy

Navy plays "All I Want For Christmas Is You" all year long. #BeatNavy

Navy puts troops ashore and then waits for combat to end. #GoArmy

Navy is afraid of Shark Week. #BeatNavy

Navy prefers to call their ships "moist" instead of "damp." #GoArmy

Navy likes the George Lucas produced Star Wars films. #BeatNavy

Navy asks if you have to know dates on a history exam. #GoArmy

Navy took 9 years to graduate - founded in 1845 with its first graduates in 1854. #BeatNavy

Navy still wasn't good enough to produce officers until 1912. #GoArmy

Navy thinks they're cooler than the Space Force Guardians. #BeatNavy

Navy eats before their sailors. #GoArmy

Navy can't change a tire. #BeatNavy

Navy spells potato with an "e." #GoArmy

Navy reminds the teacher to assign homework on Friday. #BeatNavy

Navy uses a Sharpie on their computer screen to sign digital documents. #GoArmy

Navy studies Critical Goat Theory. #BeatNavy

Navy cuts off traffic by driving in the shoulder. #GoArmy

Navy couldn't score with their imaginary girlfriend. #BeatNavy

Navy only got to first base with their Mom. #GoArmy

Navy orders drinks for everyone and then asks for separate checks. #BeatNavy

Navy tried to get into 10th Mountain Division by crashing a submarine into a mountain #GoArmy

Navy planned the Microsoft365 transition. #BeatNavy

Navy extended their car warranty thanks to telemarketers. #GoArmy

Navy dances the Truffle Shuffle. #BeatNavy

Navy always clicks Reply To All. #GoArmy

Navy needed the Ferber Method for all the midshipmen. #BeatNavy

Navy combatives are based on the "Tickle Method." #GoArmy

Navy borrows their girlfriend's hoodies. #BeatNavy

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