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Eternal Life Through Sex

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A ten year analysis of 1000 middle-aged men was conducted by the Queens University in Belfast to study the long term physiological effects of sex. Their conclusion? Men reporting a higher frequency of orgasms had a death rate equal to half that of their less fortunate counterparts. A word to the wise, urologist Dr. Eid warns that men can damage themselves permanently from too much sex. On the other hand, Dr. Claire Bailey cites little to no risk that women can overdose on sex to the point of damage, but may suffer from vaginal atrophy from a significant lack thereof. The findings coincide with other studies of sexual benefits including:

  • Improved sense of smell
  • Reduced risk of heart disease
  • Weight loss, overall fitness
  • Reduced depression
  • Pain-relief
  • Less-frequent colds and flu
  • Better bladder control
  • Better teeth
  • A happier prostate
  • ... continuation of the species ...

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